Driven round the bend

                       Malaysian motorists are very good at multi-tasking

Malaysian drivers have been rated as the worst in the region and we enjoy killing ourselves on the roads, with fatalities of up to 7,000 a year.

IF you think Malaysian politicians are untrustworthy, unreliable and dangerous, then you haven’t met Malaysian motorists.

Talking to me? Yes! We have been rated as the worst in the region and we enjoy killing ourselves on the roads, with fatalities of up to 7,000 a year.

We are not sure if this is the result of driving schools simply churning out inadequately trained drivers or the authorities dishing out kopi lesen for the right price. But for sure, Malaysian drivers are pretty peculiar, so to speak. Here are 10 offences you must know about us.

Offence No 1: Foreigners – especially the high-income ones who call themselves expatriates to distinguish themselves from the low-paying foreigners – must understand that mamak restaurant owners are the kings of parking lots.

Yes, you read it right. No one can park their vehicle outside their restaurants. It’s only reserved for their tables and stools, especially in the evenings.

So please do not think that because you are an expat, wah, you can complain about Malaysia. Even we Malaysians keep quiet.

Don’t ask why municipal council enforcement officers are not acting. You think they’ve got no work to do, ah? Tearing down “rocket and volcano massage” posters already take up all their time, okay?

Offence No 2: When we drive into a shopping mall, we fight to park near the entrance. That’s because most of us are too lazy to walk. We may insist on the need to exercise daily to keep ourselves fit but when it comes to parking at the mall, it must always be at the spot nearest to the lift! Can’t you just park right in front of the entrance? Ah Boy, we need to walk very far if we park too far.

Not only that. Now, Malaysia is not safe any more. I don’t want to be robbed or raped while walking to the car, okay Ah Boy. These foreign security guards all useless ones, ask them where is the toilet also they don’t know. You trust them, ah, all so skinny ones, how to protect us? Come, come, park near the entrance. Pusing a few rounds lah, if don’t have!

Offence No 3: Malaysia must be the only country in the world where, after spending millions of ringgit to build stretches of beautiful roads, we immediately build humps every few metres away from each other! This is absolutely mind boggling but, hey, this is Malaysia. We do things our way, okay? Why ask so much, jealous of our success in humping, ah? Sorry, I mean, we love humps.

Offence No 4: Malaysian motorists are very good at multi-tasking. We can do many job functions at one time while driving. We can text, SMS or whatsapp while driving or even while riding our bikes. This is already an acceptable thing. No longer a skill, okay?

Of course, yakking away and driving at 20kph, ignoring the honking behind us, is also already an entrenched culture: Itu sudah jadi biasa lah bro, bukan news lagi lah. (That’s already normal, no longer news.)

While on the wheel, some of us play with the baby or pet dog, too. I told you what, Malaysians can do anything one.

Offence No 5: If you have seen how human beings can turn into super heroes in the movies, such Transformer actions also happen in Malaysia. A simple, mild-mannered, friendly and helpful person whom you think you’ve known all your life can turn into a reckless, bad-mouthing road devil once he or she takes control of the wheel.

Seriously, Malaysian drivers can be the subject of a doctoral thesis. Just look at the changing mood of Malaysian drivers when they push the pedal. From honking at the vehicles in front of them for no apparent reason to giving ugly stares as they pass by another motorist, their behaviour is such that no one is safe on the road in Malaysia.

Offence No 6: The red light at traffic junctions is only meant for cars, not for motor bikes. Nope, we are not kidding. Come on, lah macha (brother in Tamil). Where do you find motorcylists stopping at junctions? Who taught you to stop? Your driving instructors, who offered you the “guaranteed pass kopi duit” package, ah?

Stop arguing, okay? Red lights are not for motorcyclists. It’s for Malaysians who can afford to buy cars. Yes, that was an election pledge – if that makes you happy.


Offence No 7: Demerit points? I don’t think any of us have come across any Malaysian who has been penalised for breaking traffic rules and collecting demerit points that could lead to our licences being suspended. Got, meh?

In fact, most of us probably do not even recall the much publicised but fully dormant Kejara demerit system.

Before the Automated Enforcement System (AES) could even be implemented – that would have ensured the points could automatically be deducted – the system itself was prematurely suspended.

The Road Transport Department said last December that the AES would be revived in January. Well, we are already in March now.

And in the best Malaysian tradition of “announce first, then call for review and then scrap it”, which our Malaysian leaders are well known for, this one is also going for a record – the Kejara demerit system was introduced in 1984 and 30 years later, we are still at the kami sedang mengkaji (we are still studying) stage.

Offence No 8: According to statistics, traffic fines paid by motorists in Malaysia come up to RM10mil every year! That’s amazing. That’s almost the gross domestic product (GDP) of some African nation! Malaysia Memang Boleh.

The RM10mil does not even include the “So, macam mana selesai? (So, how do we settle?)” penalties involving crooked traffic cops.

Bernama reported that according to the Kuala Lumpur Police, 22,054 traffic summonses were issued between January and September of 2012. A total of 33,836 traffic summonses were issued in 2010, amounting to RM10.5mil! We are really a “fine” country!

Offence No 9: No wonder all the betting shops are doing well. It has become almost an automatic reaction that the minute we see an accident, all of us whip out our cameraphones – the first picture goes to Instagram and Facebook, a video that must go viral if the motorists are fighting each other. If it’s of different races, better still, it’s got a racial twist, even if the feuding motorists don’t think that way. And for the uncle: Oi, Ah Boy, you saw the number plate of the car or not? Sure you got the right number, ah? Okay, call Robert fast. Place the bets! Yes, big and small!

Offence No 10: And finally, on behalf of the confused and dangerous Malaysian motorists, we wish to extend our deepest appreciation to Polis DiRaja Malaysia for continuously understanding all of us, despite our many traffic offences.

We will continue not to pay our traffic summons until the yearly discounts are given, as PDRM has continuously done so year in and year out.

We are proud that this is the only country in the world where discounts and rewards are given for late payment of traffic summonses.

Please do not let the jealous foreigners and international media stop you from conducting this yearly discount scheme. Yes, we will continue scheming ... oops, we mean we will continue supporting this discount scheme.

Salam 1Malaysia!

Tentera Darat: Gah di tanah air dan luar negara

Berbekalkan slogan baharu “Tentera Darat Teguh Siaga, ATM Gah, ATM Perkasa”, Tentera Darat (TD) yang menyambut ulang tahun ke-81, giat merencanakan dasar, perancangan strategik dan operasi yang bertepatan dengan keperluan pengoperasian.

Sebagai satu daripada cabang utama Angkatan Tentera Malaysia (ATM), TD sentiasa melengkapkan usaha itu dengan amalan triologi 3M iaitu Manusia, Mesin dan Metod (Kaedah).

Menurut Panglimanya Jeneral Datuk Raja Mohamed Affandi Raja Mohamed Noor, 3M bermaksud TD akan sentiasa meningkatkan kualiti sumber manusia atau anggota meliputi pengetahuan, kemahiran, tingkah laku dan kompetensi.

Dua lagi elemen ialah menjamin kelangsungan dengan peningkatan perkakasan/peralatan serta mewujud dan memperkasakan pelan-pelan bersesuaian bagi memastikan pasukan sentiasa relevan dengan keadaan semasa dan masa hadapan, katanya.

“Gabungan ketiga-tiga elemen tersebut jika ditambah dengan tahap kesiagaan tinggi, membolehkan TD mengunjurkan kuasa pada masa, tempat dan tujuan yang betul.

“Lagipun ia memang selari dengan visi kita untuk menjamin kelangsungan transformasi pasukan ATM,” katanya dalam wawancara khas sempena sambutan ulang tahun ke-81 Tentera Darat di Wisma Pertahanan di sini baru-baru ini.

Menurut beliau, peranan TD sebagai sebahagian daripada ATM selama ini bukan kecil malah ketumbukan ini merupakan nadi utama kepada ATM.

Buktinya, ia telah melalui pelbagai episod mencabar antaranya merasai pengalaman pembabitan dalam zaman Perang Dunia Kedua, zaman Darurat pertama dan kedua Malaysia, zaman Konfrontasi Indonesia-Malaysia pada 1963 dan membantu Polis Diraja Malaysia (PDRM) dalam Ops Daulat di Lahad Datu, Sabah pada 12 Feb tahun lepas.

Ops Daulat dilancarkan bagi menangani kumpulan pengganas dari Selatan Filipina yang menceroboh Kampung Tanduo, kira-kira 130 kilometer dari bandar Lahad Datu.

Pencerobohan tersebut menyaksikan lapan anggota polis dan dua anggota tentera terkorban, 68 pengganas berjaya ditembak mati, 173 orang ditahan mengikut Akta Kesalahan Keselamatan (Langkah-Langkah Khas) 2012 (Sosma) serta 443 lagi atas pelbagai kesalahan lain.

“Kita ingat selepas Perang Dunia Kedua, dunia akan menjadi lebih aman tetapi sebenarnya tidak…kerana pada waktu tersebut beberapa negara terlibat dalam kancah peperangan saudara terutama di negara-negara Afrika.

“Jadi pada waktu itu…menjadi retetan sejarah TD, di mana kita secara total terlibat dalam misi-misi pengaman Pertubuhan Bangsa-Bangsa Bersatu (PBB),” katanya.

Raja Mohamed Affandi berkata dalam misi pengaman itu, TD telah diberikan banyak pengiktirafan tertinggi termasuk dari negara luar atas sumbangan menghantar pasukan bantuan terutama pasukan perubatan ke bumi bergolak seperti di Somalia, Bosnia, Lebanon dan Afghanistan.

“Justeru jika dilihat keseluruhan, TD telah meninggalkan banyak kesan dan nama di serata tempat, baik di Eropah, Asia dan tanah air sendiri dan perkara itu harus dibanggakan,” kata beliau.

Mengenai perancangan untuk menguatkan mobiliti pasukan TD dengan pembelian peralatan baharu, katanya itu bukan keutamaan masa ini kerana perlu mengambil kira kekangan dan kemampuan bajet yang ada pada TD.

“Atas dasar itu, saya hanya meletakkan tumpuan terhadap usaha memastikan peralatan sedia ada berada dalam keadaan baik supaya tahap kesiapsiagaan kita kukuh, sekali gus memungkinkan kita bertindak secepat mungkin sekiranya berlaku apa-apa,” kata Raja Mohamed Affandi.

Mengenai sambutan ulang tahun TD , beliau berkata ia disambut di Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan dan antara acara yang disusun adalah perbarisan Hari Tentera Darat yang  berlangsung mulai 8 pagi di Padang Kawad Pusat Latihan Asas Tentera Darat (PUSASDA).

Pada hari kedua sambutan di Pantai Saujana Batu 4, Port Dickson, akan diadakan demonstrasi keupayaan TD, perbarisan memperingati setahun kejadian pencerobohan di Lahad Datu dan acara derma darah, katanya.

A legacy of leadership

HE was only 27 when he was sworn in as a State minister of Sarawak on July 22, 1963.

For the next 50 years, with 13 years as Federal Minister and 33 years as Chief Minister, he lived up to his own unique legacy – by being a leader with responsibility, wisdom and vision doing something significant that charted the path of the nation, especially Sarawak, to development.

Abdul Taib Mahmud was born into an aristocratic family on May 21, 1936 in Miri.

He won a Colombo Plan Scholarship to study law in the University of Adelaide, Australia. Upon graduation, he declined the offer to be on the bench as a judge but chose to return to Sarawak to serve as a Public Prosecutor. He brought back with him a barrister’s degree and a young beautiful Australian wife of Turkish descent.

Sarawak then was an economic backwater. Its longest road was a stretch of dirt road from Kuching outwards, schools were ramshackle and the children went to school barefoot, with 5,000 village and longhouses scattered all over the state with virtually no infrastructure.

The task of development was almost impossible, not even the British could do so with their over 100 years of colonial rule.

FRIM Under Highway Threat

                                             Datuk Dr Abd Latif Mohmod

KUALA LUMPUR: The largest and oldest man-made tropical forest in the world is under threat by a proposal to build an elevated highway across it, said Forest Research Institute of Malaysia (FRIM) director-general, Datuk Dr Abd Latif Mohmod on Saturday.

“We will fight to the end against such a move, which is detrimental for the many endangered plant species within the grounds.

“If this buffer zone for endangered plant species is damaged, where else can we keep them? FRIM is a national and natural heritage and any threat to it must be fought,” he told reporters after a media appreciation ceremony on Saturday.

Dr Abd Latif said the issue first arose when he was approached by a group, whom he declined to name, in February last year, suggesting that FRIM be “split in half” for the highway construction.

He said that this could be because FRIM, which spans 544.3ha, was under single ownership after receiving its freehold land title from the Selangor government in 2007, making it easier for negotiations.

“But they forget that FRIM is now under Selangor and not Kuala Lumpur. Selangor is a state that does not allow logging because it depends on business and commercial activities (for income),” he said.

Dr Abd Latif said they had assumed the proposal was set aside after FRIM handed the group a petition which showed 99% of its personnel were against the plan.

However, he said he was informed earlier this week that the proposal had now been taken to “higher authorities”.

Dr Abd Latif also thanked the media for constantly providing public awareness on environmental issues as well as highlighting FRIM’s work.

“Many of the awards we have received is mainly due to the media exposure given to us. The value and impact of your reports have helped FRIM maintain our position as a tropical forest research institute that is known worldwide,” he said.

Among the media recognised by FRIM were The Star journalists Tan Cheng Li and Isabelle Lai for their respective reports last year on Merapoh, Pahang and Gunung Kanthan, Perak, as well as StarMetro section for its support for FRIM activities.

FRIM’s Kepong campus, renowned for being a model of successful reforestation, was established in the 1920s and recognised as a natural heritage in 2009 and national heritage in 2011.

It is working to attain Unesco World Heritage Status by 2017.